Chicago, IL– Long the bane of every dental student’s existence, board exams have continued to be outdated. Until now. In a stunning announcement, the Association of Dental Board Exams has announced major changes to board exams starting in 2020. In the past, dental boards have tested dental students’ abilities to perform treatment on plastic teeth, prep and fill ideal interproximal carious lesions, and complete a quadrant of questionable scaling and root planing that even the best insurance wouldn’t pre-authorize. That all changes next spring. 

The Dental Ninja Warrior board exam will now be required for all new dentists to complete before they are qualified for licensure. Designed to mimic real-world dentistry, the Dental Ninja Warrior board exam will evaluate the dental student’s competency in the following disciplines: 

• Tofflemire bands: each candidate will be required to correctly assemble and place a Tofflemire band while a dental assistant gives condescending eye rolls and foot taps. 
• Rubber dam placement: each student must painlessly place a rubber dam on a patient with an orca-sized tongue, all while the patient complains that they are suffocating. The true trial comes when an examiner will test the seal of the dam by pouring a 16 ounces of water in the patient’s mouth. 
• Filling a second molar with third molar present: nothing makes a dentist feel more accomplished than when they can successfully restore a second molar with an adjacent third molar, and nothing will make a dental student question their career choice more than this board section. 
• Maxillary impression on a gagger: candidates must successfully make a maxillary impression while the gagging patient stops breathing, thrashes around, and possibly vomits. 
• Bloody SRP: each future dentist will be required to competently clean a quadrant of teeth with the gingiva bleeding so badly that a Game of Thrones fan would be uneasy. 

This gauntlet of dental challenges will adequately prepare dental students for their chosen career. With a generous two-hour time limit, every candidate should have plenty of time to finish the Dental Ninja Warrior board exam. Contact The Facebow for any questions and follow on Twitter @facebow1 for updates to this story.