Local Man Catches STD From Root Canal

Auruora, CO– In light of the recent release of the honest and informative Netflix documentary Root Cause, in which a man discovers the cause of all of his afflictions, many other people have come forth with claims of illness caused by root canals. One such victim is Dale Scrape, who claims a root canal he had done in 2007 caused vicious chancres and malaise. “In 2013, I developed some sores and rashes on my skin, and then the fatigue set in,” says Scrape. “At first, my physician told me it was syphilis caused by my promiscuous lifestyle, but after consulting a holistic dentist, Dr. Sage, he convinced me that it was caused by a root canal.” 

“After seeing Root Cause, I realized what has been causing all of my ailments. It was my root canal. It wasn’t my fault at all. Who knew someone could catch an STD from a root canal?” asks Mr. Scrape. “Well, now we all now.”

So how is Dr. Sage going to help Dale? “He recommended having several teeth extracted, multiple marble implants placed, and daily hyperbaric oxygen treatments,” says Scrape excitedly. “It’s very expensive, but I just know it will heal all of my open wounds. They keep coming back, but I know their days are numbered.” 

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