Dentist Discovers the Ultimate Rat Deterrent

New York City, NY– Proving once again that dentists are among the most innovative professionals on earth, Dr. Roger Randall thinks he has discovered another way for dentists to help humanity. “I’m a huge fan of wildlife, but I think rats were a huge mistake. As I see them walk past my office every day I just know that they are plotting against me and taunting me with their long, yellow teeth,” explains Dr. Randall. “They totally outnumber me and my staff, but the dust from old crown cement will even the scales.” 

Dr. Randall has devised a machine that can capture the cement dust removed from old crowns and place it in explosive capsules easily thrown into groups of rodents. He believes his idea will revolutionize pest control. 

So how did Dr. Randall come up with this unprecedented idea? “One day I was drilling the old cement out of a crown before re-cementing it, and the smell of the cement dust caused me extreme nausea,” says Dr. Randall. “After I vomited on poor Mrs. Hall and collapsed on the floor, I knew I’d found my true calling. Old crown cement smells like death and that is exactly what these long-tailed devils will beg for when they are peppered with it.” 

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